When you think of American Psycho, it’s hard not to immediately think of Patrick Bateman’s grooming routine. Although, the quintessential movie psychopath did have other, more memorable habits, his precise and regimented daily routine was a window into the psyche of a serial killer—with killer good looks. The opening monologue of Bateman explaining his hyper-detailed ritual is one of the movie’s most classic quotes: “In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.” Although Bateman didn’t drop any specific brands, now you can replicate that same meticulous approach to skin care with a new line inspired by the yuppie character that shares its name.
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Founder Reed Maidhof says that Bateman Skincare is more than just a novelty brand or an homage to a notoriously vain and callous character: “The story lent itself perfectly to the creation of our brand, as one of the most memorable parts revolves around skin care and adopting a structured routine.” The unisex line is formulated with natural ingredients like rose hip, lemon peel, jojoba and apricot oil, and other buzzy skin care ingredients like hyaluronic acid, seaweed extract, yarrow and licorice root. Maidhof says, “We provide simple and effective natural ingredients in order for users to not have to consult a glossary, or worse a chemistry table, to know what they’re using.”
The unique idea is what first caught my attention, but I must admit I was excited to embark on my own diligent Patrick Bateman–esque morning ritual. I skipped the 1,000 crunches and began with the Rose Hip + Seaweed Cleanser ($28). I have very dry skin, so I tend to go for cleansers that also moisturize. This one didn’t leave my skin feeling as soft as I’m used to, but I liked how firm and taut my face felt after washing. I followed up with the Daily Hyaluronic Serum ($33) and Daily Hyaluronic Cream ($33), which left my skin feeling hydrated and soft after cleansing.
The brand’s unisex philosophy also appealed to me, so I passed the products on to a male coworker (another fan of the film) who enthusiastically adopted the Bateman morning routine. Like me, he was happy with the end result and continues to use the cleanser, serum and moisturizer religiously. He reported back that he’s noticed his pores decrease and healthier skin overall.
I thought it would be fun to adopt one of the most notorious skin care routines in cinematic history, but it was actually more satisfying to see how well these products worked on both genders. Now that we’ve gotten our skin care routine down, we can finally get around to returning those videotapes.
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