A Perkier Posterior In A Three-Piece Package

There was a time when we wanted the answer to “Does my butt look big in this?” to be “No.” Lately, however, a full, shapely tush is all the rage, and the trend has given birth to surgical procedures like butt implants and the butt lift.

Not everyone is ready to lie stomach-down on the operating table, though, so Bremenn Research Labs has come up with a tongue-in-cheek (get it-cheek?) alternative.

Butt Lift In A Box is a so-called “butt plumping system” that promises to transform a saggy bottom into a gravity-defying derriere in three steps. First, there’s the Plumping Catalyst, which gets massaged in to promote fullness and roundness. It’s followed by the Lifting & Firming Emulsion, which gets applied in upward strokes (in the direction you’d like your butt to go).

The third step is the no-brainer in rump remodeling: exercise. Butt Lift In A Box comes with a resistance band and directions for a 15-minute toning regimen that doesn’t ignore any of the obscure muscles that make up your butt. (Yes, it’s much more than just the gluteus maximus.)

Will it give you surgical results? No. But will it help you stave off surgery? If you stick to the steps, it’s entirely possible.